What does fraud mean to Franklin Veaux

Polyamory - polyamorous relationship

1. A realistic take on the concept of polyamory

A polyamorous relationship enables people who want (or cannot) live a non-monogamous life and their partners to have one long-term type of relationship management, the without deception or self-denial gets along. Polyamore relationships can ideally offer these people more happiness than other forms of relationship. However, poly relationships are also largely very complex, subject many changes and require a high degree of relationship work! Living polyamorous is not an ideal that needs to be achieved, but a kind of relationship to live alongside many others.

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2. Willingness to communicate and the ability to deal with conflict

Of course, good communication is beneficial in any relationship. But the demands on communication in a polyamorous relationship are a bit higher. Because for one, have more people with their very own Motives, feelings, fears and limits Influence on decisions to be made. And on the other hand, decisions or circumstances that have been made affect and have more people Effects on her, her life and her feelings.

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3. Self-reflection, self-confidence & willingness to develop

The extensive occupation with ourselves is important for your own satisfaction in a polyamorous relationship from several points of view:

  • in the decision for or against the relationship model
  • Knowledge of your own needs and fears
  • Knowledge of your own limits in order to protect and defend them
  • as a starting point for internal development processes

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4. Responsibility, honesty & loyalty

How can we with other means than a promised exclusivity security and reliability create?

In a polyamorous constellation, I cannot swear, let alone guarantee, that I "can always be there for one of the partners in every situation". Situations can arise in which my partners have conflicting needs, but which are just as important in the moment. How can I still give my partners a feeling of security and security?

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A polyamorous relationship requires us to be diverse Uncertainties and Fears and look into some of our abysses. In addition, if we live our alternative form of relationship openly, we are permanent External reviews exposed. Sometimes it takes a lot of courage and a self-confident demeanor in our familiar or friendly environment.

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Conclusion: THE right kind of "poly" does not exist!

As I am an advocate individual relationship management I am, in the area of ​​polyamorous relationships, I advocate adapting the form of relationship, no matter what it is, to the people involved, and not the personalities, with their very individual stories, needs, circumstances and, if necessary, Trauma to press into the superordinate set of rules of a relationship ideal (in the sense of "that is poly and that is not").

Above all, I would like to recommend this to people who do not act on their own initiative, but based on a partner's way of life or imagination have approached this concept. Deal with the concept yourself and see what it has to offer you, what problems may arise and talk to your partners about what your ideas are. Don't be told that you just have to accept something because in a polyamorous relationship it's "just like that". Polyamory means that everyone involved is involved in shaping the relationship and this works best when everyone is informed and aware of what the concept means for them.

This is particularly appropriate in the area of ​​consensual, non-monogamous relationships, as the subject is quite young in science and valid studies of what works and what doesn't are still very rare due to the low number of cases.

Therefore I would like to warn against it, anything, even if it is written by even the most experienced polys (like me ;-)), to use as a strict guide for your own polyamorous relationship. When something is new to us, we like to use such a guide as an anchor to measure ourselves against whether we are doing it “right or wrong” - precisely because we still have no idea where this path might lead us. That can take away fears (in the sense of "they do it like that, so it can't be wrong") but on the other hand it can also put incredible pressure on you. Neither every monogamous relationship works on the same principles, nor every poly relationship.

Happiness in a relationship always depends on the people in it:

  • from their respective personalities,
  • of their story,
  • of their wishes and motives.

In addition, of course, the relationships between those involved also play a role:

  • how firm they are
  • what role they play in the lives of those involved,
  • what developments they have gone through.

Due to this multitude of influencing factors, there will be no patent recipe for how it can work for any relationship, nor for how you can solve your problems within the relationship.