How can I not orgasm woman quickly

Orgasm disorders in women

There is a lot more talk about sex these days than it was a few decades ago. Fortunately, the problems related to lust and love are also discussed more often. With women, lack of desire, lack of arousal and orgasm disorders are always the focus of interest.

When do we speak of an orgasm disorder?

If a sexual climax is not reached or only after a very delay with sufficient stimulation and pleasure, and this is the case again and again over a longer period of time, we speak of orgasm disorders.

There are many possible causes for this, so the assessment is accordingly multifaceted. If there are any faults, the following should be checked

  • Has an orgasm never been experienced or did an orgasm disorder only occur in the course of one's own sexual development?
  • Does the disorder occur only occasionally - depending on the situation - or is it constant?
  • Isn't the climax reached through masturbation either?
  • Does the orgasm fail regardless of the respective sexual partner?

If there are difficulties with the climax, it is important not to see yourself as an isolated incident. Rather, surveys conducted as part of scientific studies came to the conclusion that every third woman between the ages of 20 and 40 never or only rarely reaches a climax.

What causes can lead to orgasm disorders?

Physical causes

If a woman suddenly cannot orgasm without other psychological reasons, physical causes should be considered. However, it is very rare that serious illnesses are behind the problem. Talk to your GP.

  • Neurological diseases
  • Result of diseases such as diabetes, tumors, inflammation
  • Testosterone deficit, thyroid, adrenal and pituitary disorders
  • Consequence of taking medication, psychotropic drugs
  • Result of drugs, alcohol

Mental causes

The latter are most commonly responsible for orgasm disorders, including:

  • Inner conflicts unprocessed
  • Personality structure disorder
  • Drive conflicts
  • Relationship fears
  • Fears of conscience
  • Couple dynamics
  • Traumatic childhood experiences

Other causes

  • Lack of affection
  • Missing sexual attractiveness of the partner
  • Ignorance of preferred technique or position
  • Failure to take into account or ignorance of mutual preferences in sex
  • Too much focus on orgasm without enjoying the body
  • Belief in false sexual myths (e.g. vaginal orgasm)

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One can assume that not one factor alone plays a role, but - precisely because of the complexity of the female orgasm - many individual factors come into play. For example, fears mostly take place in the subconscious.

Experiences from childhood, conflicts in the mother-daughter or father-daughter relationship can be of relevance. Fear of loss of control is also seen as an important factor. The increased introspection can lead to the fact that the increase in arousal is inhibited up to the climax.

The boundaries between "normal" and the presence of a disorder are sometimes quite arbitrary in the case of orgasm disorders. The transitions here are certainly fluid, there are no clear boundaries. A woman can and should judge for herself whether she feels sexually satisfied or not - regardless of standards that are applied to her by other people or the media.

What can you do with orgasm disorders?

If a woman finds it a problem not being able to reach sexual climax, she should first seek advice from a sex therapist. There are numerous treatment options that can be chosen depending on the individual problem.

It is important that in the course of the discussions with the therapist the woman understands for herself that there is neither a “correct” orgasm nor a “correct sexuality”, but that she can determine for herself what is “right”. Depending on what makes her feel good and able to orgasm.

Also, talk to your gynecologist to rule out physical causes.

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Dr. Britta Bürger

Updated on:

Beier, Bosinski, Hartmann, Loewitt: Sexual Medicine. Urban & Fischer Verlag 2001.
Madersbacher S et al: Female sexual dysfunction in a healthy Austrian cohort: prevalence and risk factors.
In: European Urology 47 (3) 2005, pp. 366-74.

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