How do you forget a friendship

How to break up with your best friend

They say old love doesn't rust. They say that if you've been friends for seven years, nothing can separate you. They say men come and go, but best friends stay forever. I say: go like this.

Nothing is forever. If marriages, love and partnerships break down - how naive it would be to believe that friendships have a right to the universal seal of approval forever together? We know that. You're not stupid.

Losing your best friend scratches your ego

Losing your best friend scratches your heart. And on the ego. When the person who was closest to you all your life, with whom you compared gifts the day after Christmas Eve at seven in the morning, planned the secret tattoos, held your hair at night after the partying and you puked each other during the worst lovesickness of your life you fed potato gratin from the package, turned your back on you coldly ignorant - then something will go grossly wrong. It makes you sad. There is silence. Lonliness. And admittedly also anger, peppered with a little onefuck you.

Rightly. Be angry! Scream and trample, beat yourself up. Because something that was bigger than any guy, every one in German or the best paid job ever, is gone. Just go away. Disappeared. Made of the dust. And suddenly you stand there alone, shot, in the middle of the desert of your life. How dare she That men betray you, freezing cold, yes. But they? Never them. The self-esteem falls into the gravel for a moment with bare knees. Au.

[Also on ze.tt: How I met my best friend through Tinder]

Thank you, ciao. Ghosting!

And as if that didn't hurt enough, with a little bad luck it gets really disgusting. And cowardly. Because not everyone has their asses in their pants to say goodbye. Which, between us, would be the least. To get out of the field quietly and secretly en vogue. In relationships like friendships. Thank you, ciao. Ghosting, somehow. Nice and easy for those who don't feel like it anymore. Shit bitter for those who stay.

Then there's bleeding. The variant that I had to experience. There's no official ending, you just don't care. And that probably hurts a lot more than the big bang into nothing. Because that is at least an end. Put the plaster off, grit your teeth. Sun on it. And let it heal.

Bleeding, on the other hand, is a friendship that has long ceased to exist - a vicious circle full of disappointments, unanswered messages and forgotten birthdays. You go from everything to nothing and nobody. It tears an indescribable pain to the heart. There is only one thing left: be brave - and run. Even if you fight it with all your might - it's time. And nobody can ignore these signs anymore.

You will never know who has actually left whom

You ask questions, but you don't get any more answers. And she gives answers, but doesn't ask any more questions. You don't take part anymore, just like that. And then, then you go. Just like that. Without much fanfare. Without drama. For one reason only: you make more money. More than that. And you will never know who has actually left whom. That is no longer important either. Only one thing is important: it's okay. You are okay. You breath. Your heart beats. Maybe from anger, maybe from fear, sadness or despair. But it beats.

And it will be fine. Everything. Better than here, better than today. Broken friendships eat up souls. They poison us. To break up means to save the soul. Breaking up means loving yourself and your happiness and bravely taking care of it. Breaking up means healing.

It makes you numb. Like at the dentist: At first you don't feel anything, chew on your lip as if there was nothing, then you bleed, and the next morning the howl is big. "

Sure, it hurts. It makes you numb. Like at the dentist: At first you don't feel anything, chew on your lip as if there was nothing, then you bleed, and the next morning there is a big howling. And the healing too. Because the bitter truth is what gives us freedom at the same time: It is no longer. And don't want to be anymore. No longer the soul mate, the sister in spirit, the savior in need.

[Also on ze.tt: I found my girlfriend on the net and only saw her personally after years]

Look closely. Not available. Like her cell phone when she pushed you away for the first time in your life.Ciaociao, baby. Start running. Nothing to hold you Sometimes something has to get really shit first before it can be good again. And damn it, that's it.

Friendship means being happier together than alone. "

And anyway: friendship, what is it actually? Be equal? Or totally different? Support yourself or give your opinion properly? Swallow everything or nod around? Calling daily or once a year? Pack Christmas parcels or forget birthdays?

Fuck it all. Friendship is everything. And above all, friendship is what I want from her. Who I want to tell the best and the worst first. Who I can call in the middle of the night and know he * she answers. Write back. And happy for me, no matter how deep he * she is upside down in the mud. Friendship is laughing together until your stomach hurts. To indulge yourself always and without exception the golden luck and the cherry on the cream of the cake. Friendship is drawing strength from one another. Telling each other, drive carefully - and write when you're home! To be stronger than before after a meeting, phone call or Whatsapp. To know that you have a home. Friendship means being happier together than alone. And not to be happy when the other person leaves the field after the first meeting in months.

The last thing friendships need are pressure, stress and feelings of guilt. "

Maybe nothing is forever. Even some breakups. No matter how it turns out - what matters is what friendship means for each and every one of us. How important you take them, what you expect and are willing to give. And to say that clearly. It won't always work, it won't always last. But God, what a fabulous picture book full of bright and beautiful memories we collect on the way. That stays with us. Always. And if the pain threshold is reached one day, the thing is more exhausting than beautiful, don't give yourself the cheese.

Nobody but you alone decides how and what friendship is. Giving satisfaction is out of place. You deserve everything you want in a friendship. And if it feels like shit, whether after two meetings or 20 years - don't be afraid to say no. Life is too short. Put some cream on it. And give the cherry to whoever deserves it.