Have you ever had a serious accident?

My nightmare The story that changed my life.

The fourth visit was my buddy Phill who brought me our first recently recorded song to the clinic. And the 5th visit were Eva and Jenny, two other good friends, who, to my delight, brought me a Yufka from my local kebab shop. It had never tasted so good. But what was even nicer was that Eva gave me a glass angel as a lucky charm. I also got to know my lifesaver, guardian angel and hero Thomas.

He also visited me shortly after waking up from the coma or in the early stages of rehab. It was a very moving moment for me when I was able to hug him for the first time. I will always remember his cool beret which he wore. Otherwise I only had a lot of visits from my family. But for me the almost daily visits from my girlfriend were the most important thing. She gave me the strength and the will to get through it all. I enjoyed her visits, which lasted several hours, in the intensive care unit. The nurses and nurses also noticed how much energy I drew from this and tried to let us rest together or not to disturb us. Often Ulrike even lay in my bed and just held me tight. (Later I learned that the doctors at the university clinic had asked them to visit me as often as possible because I had reactions to her when I was still in a coma. All vital values ​​were influenced by them to stay in the normal range and it happened often that when she left the room they became very restless again. However, I don't remember anything during the coma period. Neither dreams nor anything else)

What I also remember well in rehab is that all of my emotions were more extreme. I think that when someone was so close to death and had to experience all of this, they just appreciate everything a lot more. Of course I don't cry every time someone visits me today, but the feelings of joy, happiness, but also vulnerability and sadness are stronger than before this story. Even a simple postcard with lovely words touched me a lot at this point.

In the following days my steps became more and more secure and I was allowed to change to another ward. From the early revision to the Rohrhardsberg station. There were patients who were largely able to take care of themselves. I still needed a walking stick or a wheelchair to walk in front of me. I was forbidden to use the stairs and walking too long was not possible. The nurses there were also very, very nice.

Because I had a room on the ground floor and I could walk a few meters again, I went outside at night without permission and sat on the swing of an adjacent playground. The look at the stars gave me strength and the barefoot feeling in the sand made me dream. I spent several hours in this place thinking about my future life. "How will things continue? Can I get well again? Where are all my friends and how will they react to me?" All these questions did not leave me calm. I stayed outdoors for a long time, but as it was now winter I began to freeze. What worried me a lot was that only my right half of the body got cold or I could only feel it on the right side. At some point I gathered my last strength and went back to my room.

I moved around the clinic a lot during the day and got to know a lot of patients. Many of them had had a more "harmless" accident like me and the chances of ever getting back on their feet were slim. At some point another switch flipped in my head. I started to think about what could have happened to me. The "would - would - if - questions from the other point of view." What if I had been just a few km / h faster? What if Thomas, like the years before, had driven a different route? What if the child hadn't acted? "Etc. etc. I knew it had to be fate and I only tried to believe in myself and my goals. To do this, I mobilized my last reserves and, in addition to the planned applications and therapies, also made" volunteers "Therapies and exercises. My steps became more and more secure because I was walking most of the day. I explored the entire clinic and walked through the whole building several times a day to visit the intensive care unit or to get to know other patients.

And so the day came that my family and I persuaded the doctors to let me go home and they allowed me to. (I was allowed to sleep at home for one night each on 3 weekends, also because it was Christmas and New Year's Eve and I wanted to spend time with my fiancé.)

January 16, 2008, started as one of my happiest days, after taking the first steps of my own, but when I walked into my apartment for the first time, I collapsed powerless. I saw that my fiancée was packing her suitcase and that a man was helping her to get her things out of the apartment. I sat on the couch with my head in my lap and couldn't move. I heard what was being said, but couldn't say anything myself, because everything I would have done in this situation would not have turned out well ... A few minutes later she left the apartment speechless. Your best friend was there too. She told me that Ulrike had had a new boyfriend for several weeks (including when I proposed to her), but she couldn't tell me or didn't dare to say it for my sake. For me, a world collapsed. She had told me about this man, but always said that he would only help her in everyday life. After all, she was still struggling with her injuries herself. In retrospect, the fracture of the upper arm turned out to be more complicated than first diagnosed.

A few days after my return home, I insisted on visiting the place that tore me out of my life. I set out on foot, which was not so easy at the time. When I got to the scene of the accident, I couldn't hold back my tears. You could still see the traces of the accident on the street. As so often, many questions flashed through my head: Why me, why did this have to happen to me? Did I do something to be punished like this? There are so many things I would have liked to know ..... did I have a chance to avoid it? What if ... etc. ... that was when I got down on my knees and discovered something. I reached for it and picked it up. It was a lucky charm chain that I had tied around my left ankle joint. My good friend Andy had given it to me years before and today I am wearing it again on my left ankle joint. Was that another little sign?

Now more operations followed ...

The 3rd attempt ...

One of the surgeries I can't remember was an operation to "fix" my right wrist, but it failed because everything in my arm and hand was inflamed because of my outbursts of anger and fear. But that was also my luck. A wrist stiffener was planned, which would have limited me quite a bit.

The first surgery I remember was an attempt to save my hand. This time the doctors wanted to take a piece of bone from my hip to build a new joint for my hand. It shouldn't be as flexible and stable, but this option struck me as smarter than the originally planned stiffening of the joint, which was now only the second choice. Unfortunately, this attempt, as well as that of the stiffening, failed again.

In any case, shortly after my return home, the third attempt to save the hand followed. From the last operation to this attempt, a professor noticed me and brought the best idea that could have happened to me.

"An artificial ceramic joint could be a good try," he said. There are only 8 of them in Germany, they are still absolutely new and have only been made once by them, but it would be worth a try. If it doesn't work, you can always try to stiffen the hand or the joint.

I still have this joint in me today without any problems. I can only move it about 30% and it can only bear a load of 5 kg until it starts to get uncomfortable, but I'm still sure today that it was the best thing that could have happened to me in this situation.

Then I decided to move because the apartment was too expensive for me alone (Maurisette was currently living with me free of charge).

As is so often the case in this story, with the help of my father I found a new, inexpensive apartment directly adjacent to a physiotherapy practice, where I then moved alone. I continued my therapies there on an outpatient basis. I ended up with a kind-hearted and very competent physiotherapist named Annette. For some time before that, she even worked in the Freiburg University Clinic. Among other things with the same professor who saved my wrist.

In any case, I liked her very much from the start. She showed interest in me and my handicap and accepted the challenge. After a few nice therapy hours in the practice, she even took the time after work or on weekends to accompany me to a thermal bath to do water aerobics or therapy and I will never forget that. We enjoyed our time together very much and got on really well from the start. After a while, this friendship grew and we were happy for over 3 years. It will always be an important and large part of this story. At this point I would like to thank you again.

Before that, however, in June 2008, I came under the knife again. This time, in a nine-hour operation in my left shoulder, the damaged nerves were freed from the scars and brought back into the correct position. The operation went well but the successes were or are minor.

On February 23, 2011, my left hand was also operated on there, with the aim of getting a little more function. This operation wasn't easy. It went very well, but a few weeks later it turned out that an extensor tendon of the thumb had torn. The doctor or I cannot explain how this happened. At least I didn't feel any pain. This function could not be restored until the second attempt.

Before the operations, I could only close my hand and bend the wrist, but not open or stretch it. Therefore, muscles and tendons in the forearm and wrist were laid over during both procedures. This means that a flexor tendon was removed from each joint of the fingers and the wrist (there are always several per joint) and connected as an extensor tendon. I can move my hand better or make movements that I missed before, but I have to rethink. Stretching is now bending, various movements are completely different, etc. ... really strange, but it works.

In order to learn how to control the new movements, I was with my current girlfriend and physiotherapist Annette for 4 weeks in an inpatient rehab in Bad Wiessee am Tegernsee.

I want to come to an end slowly, even if I still have a lot more to write. However, a lot of it is too private for me. I can't remember other things and some I don't want to either, because they still scare me today or trigger a negative feeling in me.

Thank you for having found the time to read my story and I hope that I addressed you to reflect on your own life. From the bottom of my heart I wish you all all the best and much joy in your life. It's a gift, but unfortunately very few people appreciate it. It made me more than aware of it.

Before the accident, I was quite a mess and didn't have a healthy life. Every weekend partying and excessive partying with a lot of alcohol. Often to the point of unconsciousness. I have never harmed anyone, but I forgot to take care of myself. Debts in great heights (also due to the constant inviting of various people) were the result. Everyone has their past ... I don't regret a day of it, but I'm happy to have it behind me.

Due to the fact that I was never a speeder and never drove under the influence of alcohol, I thought I didn't need any accident insurance, let alone fully comprehensive insurance. A few weeks earlier, I was talking to a banker about it. My answer: "I don't need it and I can't afford it either, but no problem, nothing happens to me ..." And a few months later I was standing there ... indebted and handicapped ... without the help I would not have found a way out of my parents and would not have had a chance in all the wars with the offices and authorities.

And therefore let it be said to you, especially the 2-wheel riders among you, never for a second forget how you behave on the streets and what violence you have in your hands. It happens so quickly and mostly when you least expect it.

Don't get me wrong, I would never talk someone out of motorcycling! After all, it is still my goal to be able to drive again, but please never lose your respect for it! I was always aware of this and yet this fate struck me. However, I was "lucky" to be able to survive, which in this case was absolutely not a matter of course.

Today I'm celebrating two birthdays on September 16th. (Day of the accident) and 18.09. (correct day of birth). I am debt-free and have also successfully completed further training as a technician. Of course I cannot deny that there are no downsides in my life. Understandably, it is not always easy with only one functioning arm, but by now I have learned enough tricks to be able to master everything on my own. Unfortunately, I keep meeting people who think they have to help me with everything. I am always happy about the help offered, as it is a sign of mindfulness and attention. I only find it uncomfortable when someone thinks they have to help me and intervenes in my actions without being asked. Of course, this is always meant well, but it is often only through this "pity" that I realize that I am handicapped. For this reason I would like to try to refuse any help. Unfortunately, every now and then you are treated "differently", which cannot be avoided, whether professionally or privately. Often enough, you get strange looks when I B. put my jacket on. It works as quickly as with any other, but it might look a bit funny or more complicated .... In addition, I have not come to terms with my physical condition for a long time and go to fitness 3 times a week. The doctors may not believe in the further success with my paralyzed arm, but I am convinced that I can draw more from it. That's what I'm fighting for! If I had listened to the opinion of others back then, I would still be in a wheelchair today ...

I am convinced that this story had to happen to me because I did not know where I would be today or what I would do. I have changed a lot as a person because I was on the best way to destroy my life. I had no control over myself or my finances, but lived unconsciously into the day.

I try to enjoy my life and perceive my environment and my fellow human beings much more consciously, have clear structures and fixed goals in mind.

I feel like there's a reason for everything. Perhaps this is not apparent at first, but believe me, there are no coincidences, only fates ... in this sense - think about it.

All the best for you,